Easy to raise, Hard to live with

I am not going to edit this, so please excuse the spelling and grammatical errors. Editing is the death nell for my blogs. I edit them to death.

Tonight Angie and I are going to celebrate our 9th anniversary. The actual date isn't until next week, but you take a babysitter when you can get one. You have no idea how amazing it is to me to have been married for 9 years. I am what you might call difficult to live with. I believe that it has taken strength, courage, and hope to deal with me for the last 11 or 12 years.

Let me tell you why. I am one of probably a few people that had their dad speak at their high school graduation. I am grateful that he and I both have that. The funny thing about it is that I can remember 1 line from that address. He said that I was never any trouble growing up. I am sure that is hyperbole, but still that means alot. I have thought about that one line for 16 years now. I never knew what it meant. Then this week during our weekly phone call (which I am also grateful for) mom told me that I never complained. Again, the rosy glasses of time have tempered her view I am sure. I have been working by myself for the past week and have been, as I usually am, deep in thought. I have spent my life living inside of myself. I have always known this, and I don't think it is surprise to anyone else. The thing about living inside of yourself is that you rarely live on the outside. I am rarely emotionally available. I can be pensive, short, and emotionally withdrawn. The introduction of children tempered that a little bit, I think. I have been, and will probably continue be emotionally underdeveloped. I believe that I am a good guy, a good dad, and a good husband. But I know that I am difficult.
I wanted to say this publicly. Not so that I could be broken down or analyzed or really even for you to think about me. I wanted to say them so that Angie would know that I appreciate her.
I love her and appreciate her and will be grateful to be old and gray with her.

Happy Anniversary, Angie!

Rage Against the Machine

I was reading about the Milgram Experiment. We all have heard about how the study shows the harm that humans are willing to exert on others when told to so by authority figures, but that is not what intrigued me the most. In one of the many replications of the study, they added additional participants. These "participants" were there to voice their concern about the treatment of the "subjects." There was an increased chance that the person administering the electrical shock would quit if he had another dissenting voice.



Well, that is what I intend to do. I intend to voice my strong opinions. If we are all silent, we will all just remain silent.

It is known that I have strong views, but I have held my tongue for fear of ridicule or further alienation. But I don't see the purpose of things like a blog, a tweet, or a facebook if you can't lay it out there every once in a while.

Feel free to disagree vocally. Just don't get upset. I can assure you that we will disagree, but I try to never think poorly of someone because of what they think. As long as you are willing to hear me out, I will hear you out.