The Executioner's Chair

Last night I had one of the most disturbing dreams that I think is possible. As happens so often, I will forget the dream by the time I get to the kitchen. So as I lay in the predawn haze I told myself the details that I could remember. It was an attempt to be able to recall the most poignant details of that dream.
First the dream, then the reflections that I had as I lay in bed.
The dream started on the day of my execution. It was probably within hours of the time I was to be put to death by electric chair. This was not an out of body experience, with me on the ceiling. I was the one inside the person that was to be killed. The only person that was with me that I knew was a person that I felt was my sister. As I progressed through the day, I went through the emotions that one would expect. I felt the terror of knowing what was going to happen. I felt sadness for a family that was left behind. The trip to the execution chamber was bizarre. I was put into a circular contraption that was similar to a carnival ride. In order to get to the chamber this contraption whisked me through the air. That ride was amazing. I felt the wind on my face, I saw the sky and felt the sun. It truly felt that it was first time that I had experienced this in some time. After the ride I was forced to walk a long, curving stairway. On the way I heard people talking about the crime that I had been convicted for. The story they told and the memories I had did not match-up. This was the low point for my day. Along the way a small African-american girl ran by me. My hand grazed her head as she went past. This, I knew instantly, was the daughter of the murdered person. Toward the top of the stairs I begged for mercy. I dropped to my knees weeping like a child. The executioner came to me, put his hand on my head and just stood there. At that moment, it felt like a father’s hand calming his son. I stood, and calmly walked through the doors. The first thing I saw were the witnesses. I knew them all. I saw the chair. It was a familiar blue recliner with bright green and red leads. As I sat down, I drew a breath to say something. As if it were a blur, I felt a hood then hands on my chest. Within a split second I heard the metal to metal snap. The next feeling that I had was a tightening of my entire torso.
I awoke, understandably, alarmed. I never knew it was a dream until I was awake. I lay there having just experienced a death. I didn’t know how to react. I felt relief and a torrent of sadness.
I couldn’t explain the sadness. I have been against the death penalty for some time. I don’t believe that it is okay to take a life for any reason. But it was more than that. It was a sadness left over from the dream. It was the sadness of and for all those that don’t get to wake up in a bed.
You can do with it what you will. I don’t mind armchair analyzing. I am someone who always thinks that I am 3 ticks from crazy anyway. I often find it hard to share these experiences openly. But for some reason, I thought perhaps I could use this bizarre dream to stir up some feelings in those around me.

You can’t be neutral on a moving train - Howard Zinn

today I live, while tomorrow they die

Today is the national day of action for Troy Davis. Today I continue to do what I did yesterday, will do today and tomorrow and the day after that. In the near future while I am building a corral or filtering vegetable oil or feeding cows or playing with kittens, dogs, cats or boys Troy Davis will be killed. My life will go on. His will not. For what purpose? Not only is it very likely he is innocent of what he is accused of, but your government wants to kill him. They want to put him a little room and snuff out his life. Is that okay with you? In this busy time in our lives, take a couple of minutes and reflect on state sanctioned homicide. Your state has no more right to kill you than it does to kill Troy Davis, KSM, or any other person it deems unfit to live.
Please visit this amnesty international website to learn more about the unjust stats of american death penalty usage.

We are all Troy Davis. If we allow one unjust act after another to take place in our name, we will all be affected. You are farther from the bottom than Troy Davis, so it may take longer to reach you, but you will touched by injustice.

Stand up and take action!